Today I had the discussion with my family that we don't want anyone to purchase gifts for us, because we aren't going to be able to purchase many gifts this year and my SIL said some EXTREMELY hurtful things some of which are:
1) If my kids are slighted now, I will remember it if you do have your own
2) Putting yourself into debt to have a baby on top of personal medical expenses was a choice. something that's planned. not an emergency. and given that you are an accountant I would assume you had budgeted accordingly, as well as thought about the holidays in advance when doing so, as people generally do.
3) I'm legitimately surprised that someone who studied and works in finance never seems to have it together. I'm sure you'll take it as criticism, but it's an observation I felt the need to make because it doesn't make sense --especially from where my uneducated and unemployed ass is sitting, where we only have one very shitty military income and two kids, no experience in managing finances and are affected everyday by the cost of living in Hawaii, no family/reliable resources to turn to, yet we don't seem to have the issues that a couple as put together as you and Brian do.
4) Take your two shits and shove them up your ass because the only thing I'm thinking Samantha is damn, for two people that smart and capable, they must have really fucked themselves.
5) it just hurts when people have to take things out on kids
Let me address these things one at a time -
1) Your children are both under the age of 5 - I highly doubt they will feel slighted for not receiving a toy they will either break or forget about in a week.
2) We are not putting ourselves in debt to have a baby, which is why our budget has gotten a lot stricter. We are paying cash for everything - EVERYTHING - so every extra penny we absolutely do not need to spend gets put into our savings account so we have some type of savings account left at the end of this. Also, we did budget for Christmas, however, no one wanted to partake in our cheaper gift exchange idea and we can't afford to spend a million dollars on each person in the family.
3) How exactly do we "not have it together"? We own our own home, we just purchased two new cars in the past year, we have very little credit card debt and we paid for our entire $12K wedding on our own.... Just because we decided to not buy gifts for anyone doesn't mean that we "don't have it together."
3) continued - That's right bitch, you are an unemployed leech. You wouldn't know how to manage finances even if someone smacked you with finances for dummies. My brother handles all that shit for you and there's a reason for it.
3) One last thing about number 3 - We don't have family to turn to either if we get into a financial bind. Read above ^^paid for our entire wedding ourselves^^ Both of my parents really do live paycheck to paycheck. They couldn't help me out even if they knew we were struggling. Oh, and my grandparents, who used to help me out tremendously when I was in college, can't do that anymore since my grandpa retired. They spend more money every month on medication for my grandma than they bring in.
4) See above - I'm not sure how we really fucked ourselves.....
5) I hate when people try to use their kids to make other people feel bad. None of this has anything to do with the kids. I would never take my hatred of you out on them. I'm a little more mature than that.
One of the amazing ladies on the 3T board suggested some of the following comebacks...and they are awesome, so I'm leaving them here too just in case my SIL decides to find my blog and come read this (I kind of hope she does).
"Okay deal, as long as you pay for the fertility treatments as my Christmas present from you guys."
"Fine, as long as you give me my future kids gifts PLUS the cost of fertility treatments that I have to have which you didn't need to have yours. Fair's fair after all."
"Somehow trying to have my own children ranks higher on my financial priority list than buying you a sweater that you'll regift anyway."
"So you think I should get your kids a toy they'll probably break or forget about in a week instead of trying to have kids of my own? Seems fair."
Just in case she does read this - before you start telling me how to live my life and spend my money, grow up, start making money of your own, and take care of your own children.
If you made it all the way through this - I applaud you :)
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